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Reverence Thyself First: Where The Sacred Journey Begins | Self Acceptance
Saturday, March 3rd, 2012What do weeds and self acceptance have in common?
I found food for thought this week while reading an article in Huffington Post by Dennis Merritt Jones, Reverence Thyself First: Where the Sacred Journey Begins.
Jones speaks of going out to his mediation garden and discovering weeds
among his lilies and bamboo. Rather than immediately plucking them out, he
sat for a moment to contemplate weeds, remembering Emerson’s words: “a weed
was a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered”.
He wrote that “Earnest Holmes, the author of The Science of Mind, would on
occasion, dine with a vase of weeds on his dining room table . . . the only
real difference between a weed and a rose was the value we choose to place
upon one over the other.” He was suggesting we could hold the same
reverence “for every form of life, from snails, to whales and everything in
between, including you and me and every human being on this planet”.
Jones discovered that day that a weed can be a spiritual experience if we
are willing to look beyond form and perhaps understand that the weed
has something to contribute.
Masanobu Fukuoka,with his revolutionary approach to organic farming, had an
enlightened attitude about weeds. He determined that weeds play an important
part in fertilizing a garden and in building an ecological balance. And so
in his garden, weeds were controlled rather than eliminated.
So, too, I believe we can we can feed our souls and bring ecological balance
to our minds and hearts with the self acceptance of our weeds, the snails and
whales of our personalities, the whole shebang of who we are.
In a Green Psychology training, we learn that we cannot really pluck out the
parts of ourselves, or behaviors, that we perceive as undesirable. We begin
to understand that these parts of us, like weeds, will return again and
again, popping up at very inconvenient moments unless we integrate these
aspects of ourselves into the whole of who we are.
And like the weeds in Fukuoka’s garden, we can enjoy control over these
parts only once we accept and integrate these parts. We may not truly
‘revere’ these parts as Earnest Holmes did his weeds, but we can accept that
they are just a part of our inner gardens.
We can bring these parts of ourselves to the table, appreciate them for how they may have served us in the past. This is the practice of self acceptance. And once we do, we can begin to consciously make choices in how we want to ‘control’ these parts of us, and allow these parts to mature.
Weeds will always appear in my garden. Yet if I accept them, I can control them, so that they do not overpower my lilies, nor detract from my bamboo – the kinder, more reverent, parts of me.
Understanding Why We Change: Huffington Post
Thursday, May 12th, 2011Understanding Why We Change is a recent Huffington Post article authored by Marilyn Mandala Schlitz and Tina Amorok. The authors reference a decade of research on this subject performed by the Institute of Noetic Sciences.
They state that a change in beliefs, motivation, and behaviors boils down to a shift in our worldview. Although the process of change is complex, it is not completely random or unpredictable. The process usually begins before we know it begins. This occurs during a period of “destabilization,” which is a time when our normal ways of coping seem inadequate. We start—consciously or unconsciously—asking questions.
Then, there is the aha! moment, which leads to a new way of seeing the world. This can come about as a result of pain and loss, or as a result of moments of inspiration and awe, or a combination both. The process that precedes the aha! moment is largely unconscious. We can’t order up these moments, but we can live our lives so that we are more receptive to these moments.
Green Psychology retreats are intentionally designed to bring about experiences of “destabilization,” which we refer to as disorientation. Then, later in these retreats, people reorient themselves as a result of their aha! moments, which the retreat is designed to stimulate.
The authors identify four essential elements that are part of the process of change:
- Attention toward greater self-awareness
- Intention toward personal growth and benefit for the community
- Repetition of new behaviors
- Guidance from trusted people who are experienced in the practice
We agree that these four elements are essential. They are built into our retreats, and part of the reason why our shortest program is four days long. For meaningful change to occur there needs to be enough time for disorientation and reorientation. There needs to be enough time for community to form, and enough time to practice new behaviors.
The primary distinction you’ll find in Green Psychology is that we focus on growth instead of change. We do this for a few reasons. First, change does not always lead to growth, but growth always leads to change. Second, when people focus on change they have a tendency to try and discard things—parts of themselves—that they don’t accept or like. We don’t believe this works. We can’t really discard parts of ourselves. Instead, we advocate accepting all aspects of ourselves, understanding the aspects we’re critical of, then learning to integrate them into a healthy narrative. This way, the parts we’re critical of will not go into hiding, waiting to sabotage us later.
The authors close their article with the following, beautiful sentiment:
“From equanimity in the face of life’s challenges to a daily sense of wonder and awe, even the most mundane aspects of life become sacred in their own way. And this way of living makes personal transformation contagious. As people share their experiences and their presence of being with others, a collective transformation that is more than the sum of its parts begins to emerge. Individual transformations combine to create collective transformation, which in turn stimulates more individual transformations, and so on in an ever-widening expansion of our human potential.”
Thank you Marilyn Mandala Schlitz and Tina Amorok.
5 Rhythms – Therapy Retreats
Wednesday, April 27th, 2011Last weekend I attended a really enjoyable workshop. Three days of dancing for about 5 hours each day. I was so sore at the end of the day, I could not imagine moving, much less dancing the following day, but I surprised myself each day how my body would adjust.
The teacher was exceptional and inspiring. On the final day, there was a rough spot between the teacher and the woman hosting the event. Though every workshop can have its rough spots, I really noticed the void of and need for Perceptual Language click here.
The teacher was expressing a reasonable concern, but in a telling way, and the host was receiving what the teacher said as blame and judgment – and her reaction was to be angry and defensive. This changed the energy in the whole room enormously. And as apologetic and clarifying as the teacher tried to be, the woman only became more defensive and fuming.
I perceive that in every teaching, community, and practice, if Perceptual Language and Green Psychology (click here) were woven into the discipline, our interactions would be gentler and smoother.
I also experienced the end of the workshop as somewhat anticlimactic. At the end of Green Psychology Therapy Retreats, I experience and observe others glow for weeks and months. Although this dance practice is one of deep processing, it is mostly an internal processing. It is expressed externally in movement, but I perceive us as more than just physical beings and thoughtful verbal expression seems to be a valuable step.
During the dance workshop we witnessed each other in wrenching soulful physical expression with some roaring and bellowing, but there was no understanding to be had of what was behind the roaring and bellowing for me, nor complete witnessing to be done because there was very little verbalized. Although people were connecting, there wasn’t the bonding I witness at a Green Psychology Retreat, at least not for me. My perception is that whatever connection was made was quickly left behind as people departed the circle at the close of the workshop. I observed exceptions, but for the most part it seemed people were leaving, lost in what comes next in their afternoon or evening. I felt very alive but a bit empty also. I wondered if people had walked away with answers to the questions they might have entered the workshop with.
Though we spent a moment expressing, to the person next to us in the circle, what we might do every day to change something in our lives. I perceived no real tools to take home for making that change.
So, I came away with a fuller understanding of the importance of revealing ourselves verbally (over days) for us to deeply bond and transform ourselves as our deepest selves are witnessed. I am grateful for the language practice and philosophical guidelines given to us by John and Joyce Weir.
And … I came away with firmer glutes and some great music in my head…some that I will share with you at future gatherings or retreats.
If you want to learn more about Green Psychology, you can contact me by email at:
hannah@greenpsychology.net
How To Fall Back In Love
Saturday, April 16th, 2011On eHow’s ‘tips from people like you’, Terri R writes an interesting article giving 6 useful instructions to consider in order for couples to fall back in love. Great stuff, but much of what is suggested can be easier said than done. I believe the most likely way to successfully fall back in love, is to attend a retreat that is designed for this purpose.
Imagine taking time for your relationship to attend a 4 to 8 day retreat that would enable you to:
- take an honest look at your own feelings
- discuss your marriage with your spouse
- learn to be honest in a kind way without any reactivity
- let go of the past so you can focus on the future
- build on the positive aspects of your relationship
- learn to communicate in a way that eliminates blame and helps you to really listen to each other and learn to appreciate your differences, all which allows for greater intimacy and for you to bring back the love you used to feel.
Attending a 4 to 8 day Green Psychology training to “fall back in love” gives you a safe environment to explore those instructions Terri suggests and give you an enormous jump start on this process. Since it is a practice, you will need to follow through with what you learn, but you will leave the retreat with tools you otherwise would not have had and a supportive online community to help you keep this new way of relating alive.
Thanks Terri for your insight. I see your 6 instructions as the road map and a Green Psychology retreat (only two trainings offered each year and limited to 20 people) as the richest territory in which to experience these ways of being together and falling back in love.
If you found this blog useful and would like to read more or listen to our podcast, go to:
marriage-problems-why-couples-fight
Also, check out our retreat information and if you have questions, send a message to
hannah@greenpsychology.net and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
© Copyright 2012 by Green Psychology
