Why do we withhold from those we love?
This question was posted in October 2009. Responses we received are posted after the commentary below. If you’d like, you can still answer this question yourself.
Jake Eagle writes:
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© Copyright 2012 by Green Psychology
I am aware of withholding for two reasons. First, I withhold when I don’t feel good about myself. It’s as if, because I don’t feel good, I don’t want others to get close. I don’t want them to feel about me the way I feel about me.
Second, I withhold because I fear the raw vulnerability of connecting at a deeper level.
I withold from those I love because I feel undeserving of their love, unlovable. I also feel underserving of loving them.
This is a test of a threaded comment.
Hey I’m replying to your reply. This comment should be double-indented.
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I withhold from those I love for fear of being judged as imperfect.
I withhold from the one’s I love because I have me judging me in how I do me. I see me as being different or have me being in some way “out of sync” with the world in me. I not only withhold me, but then I have me retreat when I should express me and open me up.
I also have withholding me hiding a lie or concept of me that no longer fits me. I understand that the truth will “set me free”.
I get me today.
Being withholding is a fear/pain-based reaction
because we have yet to accept and love ourselves unconditionally. We can neither understand nor give to others that which we have yet to experience ourselves. There are really only to reactions to anything: Love and Pain. Withholding people are speaking from a place of pain which I honor. I prefer to speak from a place of love. Namaste.
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