Comments on: What stops you from being fully your self?

By: Curious

Curious — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:13:47 +0000

You say we should be all of who we are. Are you saying it’s okay to act out?

By: I Trust Me

I Trust Me — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 01:51:14 +0000

I realize that I do not do things to love myself, I do not take loving actions and if I did take loving actions they might cause a loving state of being.

By: Powerless

Powerless — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 00:50:51 +0000

I’m curious if the person who posted the previous answer thinks of love as a verb, an action, or a state of being?

By: I Trust Me

I Trust Me — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:40:36 +0000

The most effective way I block my individuality is by not accepting and not loving me, and most of all, by not being honest with myself about not loving and accepting me. I am so sad to realize that I do not love me. I do not see my own goodness, health and beauty. I depend on other people to reflect my worth, value and loveableness and I don’t reflect my loveableness to myself. I continue searching for one who will reflect my basic goodness and I don’t find this part of me to reflect to myself. In romantic relationships I often find people to reflect my flaws (my immaturity, craziness, and ugly/fatness – I also tend to victimize myself in romantic relationships).

By: Beloved

Beloved — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 08:20:20 +0000

I stop myself by thinking too much, planning too much, instead of allowing my intuition and energy to move me. I stop myself by not being aware of my feet, not connecting to the earth. I stop myself by not breathing deeply. I stop myself by freezing myself.

By: Gravity

Gravity — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 04:20:04 +0000

I think Mormon’s on to something with the question of being alone, and how it relates to being fully ourselves. Fear of being alone is such a childish fear – I think about toddlers and how they cry when they’re left alone. I feel like if I were really, fully, grown up I would not fear being alone and I could be myself in any situation. Last week, I know it was fear of being alone – alone in my opinion – not part of the group – that stopped me from fully being myself. Someone said she would “feel so deprived” if she were vegan (as I am), since she couldn’t have butter or cheese. What I really wanted to say was that, in another era, many people said the same thing about slave labor – that they would feel “so deprived” if they didn’t have slaves to do house chores. But that her feeling of deprivation didn’t justify the abuse. This metaphor is strong and true for me, but I said nothing. I stuffed my opinion back down my throat, and the only reason I can think of is just not wanting to be separate from everyone else – not wanting to be alone, as an individual.

By: Mormon

Mormon — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:49:10 +0000

I wonder how being “alone” relates to becoming an individual. I ask myself if being an individual means being alone. Or, if not recognizing my aloneness means not accepting my individuality. I am open to the possibility of being an individual while living in the world with others, as opposed to being alone in the world…but I experience uncertainty about this.

By: P and D

P and D — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 01:41:55 +0000

I am anxious about truly being alone in the world so I busy myself, distract myself and as a result I avoid myself.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 10:01:36 +0000

I do not take the time to figure out what’s most important to me. I’m too busy. If I don’t know what’s important, I can’t live MY life.

By: Howler

Howler — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 17:19:39 +0000

I was definitely doing this last night – not being fully myself. I went out for drinks with a new friend and some other people I hadn’t met before, and I was aware of being really cautious about what I said and how I acted. I could feel my inhibitions break down as I got further into my drink – I felt like I was slowly letting little bits be visible, and the more bits I let out without being ostracized, the more free I felt. I guess it just comes down to wanting to be liked. It must be that I think I have like-able parts and not-like-able parts, and I’m making a big assumption that I can sort those out – that I can predict what other people will find attractive. It feels like a lot of work, and it seems like a shame that I only seem to really be “myself” after a drink – a self that’s a little blurred, and not even really my sharpest or most attractive.